Day 21- A picture of something that makes you happy

There are literally thousands of photos I could have posted of my darling nephew. This was just a random one :)

Love you Lucas, xx

Day 20- Someone you see yourself marrying/being with in the future

This sucks.

This is such a beautiful question and could be beautifully answered by someone who is in love.

To get straight to the point, I'm not in love, and have never been with anyone other than my family. It's not that I don't believe in love, because I do, but I just haven't been lucky enough to find someone that I love. I don't think this is a bad thing as I am still only 16. Settling down with someone at my age could restrict my opportunities. Although, this thought would probably change if I were in love!

My sister Jess and her partner Thom have recently celebrated 10 years of being together, which I think is an absolutely stellar achievement. They are just a couple who "work". They love each other and their passion towards one another is beautiful. This is an amazing example of the power of love and I wish them both the very best.

Day 19- Nicknames you have; why do you have them

Full Name: Nicole Catherine Goddard

Just some of my various nicknames:
Nikki - Everyone apart from my younger brother and sister call me Nikki. Unless someone feels like pissing me off.
Nik - If people are feeling a bit lazy? 
Nikki Noodle - Daddy's nickname for me.
Noodle - Daddy's shortened nickname for me.
Godzay - Lucy B's nickname for me. I call her Bodane.
Nikmuda - So I don't get called this anymore, but Steph and I were in year 7 and we were too cool for school.

There have been more, but these are the ones people use on me right now.

Thankyou Lucy

So for the last couple of days I've been sitting at home, eating junk food, coughing and feeling very sorry for myself. I'm currently sitting on the couch, feeling fed up and wanting another ice cream. Although I'm sick, this isn't the way I should be acting. Being sick shouldn't be an excuse to be inactive and lazy. I'm functional and should be acting like someone normal.

But I am lacking in inspiration, and the thought hadn't even occured to me to write a blog post. I haven't done it since school has gone back. This is mainly because I've been really organised and busy. If I were unorganised, I would be sitting on the couch on the internet ever afternoon after school.

My last facebook status:
"Feeling uninspired and miserable :/"

My friend Lucy's comment:
I know of something inspiring, if your in the mood to read?


It's at this webpage: iwantaherbgarden.blogspot.com

man, sometimes i'm jealous of how put-together and motivated that blogger can be :) xox

hope you feel better soon



This put the biggest smile on my face :)
I know my internet duties have been a lacking, but I'm working on it ;)

Changing my thought process.

"Oh my goodness, like seriously, shit, oh my god, I have to play tennis tomorrow and I'm freaking out. I really don't want to!"

So, this thought runs through my mind A LOT. And yes, the thoughts in my head have appalling grammar. They are my thoughts though, and they are allowed to be as grammatically incorrect as I would like.

1. Nikki's thought process 2 weeks ago with tennis on my mind:

"Holy crap I really don't want to do it. I'm so bad at tennis now. I should never have quit. I should have kept on playing because then I would be better. I wouldn't be shit like I am now. It's going to be so embarrassing. I shouldn't even bother. It's going to hurt my wrist. etc."

2. Nikki's thought process today with tennis on my mind:

"It's ok. It's definitely not the end of the world. If anything, there are much more important things to be thinking about than a game of tennis. It's just a sport and it probably won't kill me. And yes, it might hurt my wrist, but I'll take that chance, and if I do get injured, I'll deal with it. I know that I can manage the pain because I did it for so long already. I can't expect myself to be better at tennis, as I haven't trained properly in years because I chose to stop. Stopping was a positive thing. After I play tennis, I can go home and do whatever I want. Maybe I'll eat some icecream, or watch tv, or even write on my blog. It won't take long, so I'll just suck it up and do it."

I get anxious about a lot of things. It has plagued my life for a few years now, but got a lot worse last year with the added stress of school and work. To cut a very long story short, my moods and attitudes swing up and down depending on the stresses in my life. Although sometimes I become severely anxious about things without any obvious stresses.

In the last 2 weeks I have become such a happier person. I know the reasons behind this and for them I am grateful. My thought process has changed. I did this myself and it was really hard at first, but with every challenge I am faced with, it's getting easier and the positive thoughts are coming more automatically.

Day 18- Plans/dreams/goals you have

Wow. This is massive as I have so much I want to do with my life. I'll stick to some goals I wish to achieve in the next 2 years.

• Complete eight pre tertiary subjects to the best of my ability. This doesn't mean get all EA's or a 100 TCE score. All I want to do is try my best and finish school knowing that I gave everything my all.
• Get my L's, then my P's. I know I've been really really slack about this. So I've decided I'm going to get my L's on Monday, the day before school starts. I'm just going to suck it up and do it. If I don't pass then I'm obviously not ready to drive yet and it will show me that I need to keep reading the road rules book.
• I want to fully commit to the sports and activities I decide to partake in. Like school, I want to be able to look back at everything I did and be proud of how I participated.
• I want to be happy and healthy. I don't really have to elaborate much more. Just that I want to continue eating somewhat healthily and continue exercising both my mind and body.

Pretty much in the next two years I want to be proud of my work and activities at school, I want to be able to drive and to be healthy and happy.

In the future I know for certain that I want a husband and kids. But that is a long way down the track.

My very busy term.

Things are going to be changing dramatically for me this term. School starts in 5 days and I'm not really yet prepared. Today I plan to organise all my books and clean my room and desk. Working in an organised environment is much better for my work patterns. I don't really know how I feel on the school front. The usual things kids my age say about school seems to be "I'm looking forward to going back to see my friends, but not looking forward to the school and homework." I feel a little different to this. I look forward to the work and the learning and being in the environment at my school. Even though I hate it at the time, I really do like school. I also am very looking forward to seeing my friends :)

This term I'm doing firsts tennis and softball, coaching soccer, choir and studying four pre tertiary subjects. All of which I want to do well in. It's going to be a massive challenge and in my usual state of mind, I don't think I would be able to cope. My attitude towards life right now is for once happy and outgoing. I am exercising and keen to get back to school. I have been on holidays for so long that it's not good for me. For so long that my grammar has become absolutely appalling.

I'm going to be so busy this term, but I think I am ready. I find when I'm busy, I am also more organised. A teacher once told me that he can rely on the students that are busier to get a job done than the ones who aren't as busy. Because those busier students obviously work hard, value their opportunities and make the most of their educations. They organise their lives so that they can achieve everything they want to. This principle is one I want to apply within my own life this year. I finally think I'm ready to fully excel in my school work and sport - and I'm really looking forward to it!

Things Are Changing

I hadn't really considered trying to drastically change my life before. Sure, I've thought and dreamed about how I'd like my life to be, but I've stupidly never done anything about it. I do lack motivation and can only blame myself for changes not already have been made. I have to stop expecting people to make changes for me and look after my own life for once. Of course, I love helping people and being there for them, but I need to know when to withdraw and give myself some 'me' time. If I spend too much time with people who are down, no doubt, it's probably going to have a negative effect on my own life.

For so long I've gotten upset about things in my life, and it's only just come to my realisation, that I can actually do a lot about these things. I admit, there are many things that I don't have control over, but I at least owe it to myself and my happiness to try and make changes in my life where things are bringing me down, that I do have control over. I figure it'll be easiest to start with making small changes and not pressuring myself to forcefully apply them (so what if I slip up once in a while? It's my life). I can't punish myself for not following my changes everyday, because I'm not perfect, and chances are I'm going to slip up.

I don't have an ideal picture for how I want my life to turn out. I fear that if I create a 'perfect' goal for myself and strive towards it, I may restrict myself from experiencing different opportunities. So instead, I would like to have a few goals for myself that aren't as restricting and that I am willing to change.

I've already made a few changes, and am excited to see the outcomes.