Changing my thought process.

"Oh my goodness, like seriously, shit, oh my god, I have to play tennis tomorrow and I'm freaking out. I really don't want to!"

So, this thought runs through my mind A LOT. And yes, the thoughts in my head have appalling grammar. They are my thoughts though, and they are allowed to be as grammatically incorrect as I would like.

1. Nikki's thought process 2 weeks ago with tennis on my mind:

"Holy crap I really don't want to do it. I'm so bad at tennis now. I should never have quit. I should have kept on playing because then I would be better. I wouldn't be shit like I am now. It's going to be so embarrassing. I shouldn't even bother. It's going to hurt my wrist. etc."

2. Nikki's thought process today with tennis on my mind:

"It's ok. It's definitely not the end of the world. If anything, there are much more important things to be thinking about than a game of tennis. It's just a sport and it probably won't kill me. And yes, it might hurt my wrist, but I'll take that chance, and if I do get injured, I'll deal with it. I know that I can manage the pain because I did it for so long already. I can't expect myself to be better at tennis, as I haven't trained properly in years because I chose to stop. Stopping was a positive thing. After I play tennis, I can go home and do whatever I want. Maybe I'll eat some icecream, or watch tv, or even write on my blog. It won't take long, so I'll just suck it up and do it."

I get anxious about a lot of things. It has plagued my life for a few years now, but got a lot worse last year with the added stress of school and work. To cut a very long story short, my moods and attitudes swing up and down depending on the stresses in my life. Although sometimes I become severely anxious about things without any obvious stresses.

In the last 2 weeks I have become such a happier person. I know the reasons behind this and for them I am grateful. My thought process has changed. I did this myself and it was really hard at first, but with every challenge I am faced with, it's getting easier and the positive thoughts are coming more automatically.