When I was little and didn't know anything about religion, this is what I thought happened when people died:
I thought we would go to heaven, but we wouldn't stay there for a long time. We would spend a bit of time to ourselves, doing whatever we desired - for me it was reading/watching tv/eating - basically the same as it is now. After a while God would come up to us and he would take us to 'the edge'. The sky would be above us, and below would be a forest. We would have to talk to God about our life and what we'd done - the good, and the bad. But he'd already know everything anyway, he was just testing us, to see if we'd lie. Then he'd give us a push, back down to earth and on our way down, we would transform into something new, something that God thought we deserved to be. We would land softly and start again.
I believed that God would always give us a second chance to redeem ourselves. No matter how we looked in heaven, God would always know who we were. But we would never remember, we got to spend a bit of time in heaven to ourselves to get over the shock of what was going to happen. As a child I walked around thinking animals used to be people. That dogs who barked at me were bad people in their previous lives. I thought about this a lot, especially when I was in bed. It was around about when I was 9 that I stopped believing this. I wanted to think that if somebody died, they would come back, just as something different. That God just changed us so that we would all get a turn at being different things.
I don't believe this anymore, and I hadn't thought about it in a while, but something today reminded me of what my beliefs used to be. Now I don't believe in God or heaven, but I am intrigued by religion.
Sometimes I wish I was a bird and could fly. A lot of the time though, I wish that I was a green butterfly.
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